Waiting for my sister to meet me at Ru San’s for sushi. The waitress came up behind me as I took this. She must think I’m so cool, sitting in a booth alone and taking pictures of myself. (Taken with instagram)
@15 hours ago with 1 note
I allow too much of my happiness and peace of mind to be controlled by what others think of me. Too much depends on what my parents, my friends, other Indians, acquaintances and even random strangers think of my decisions and me as a person. I’m too sensitive to judgment. I’m too scared of what people will think of me if I say what I feel. I need external encouragement to keep up my self-esteem in pretty much all areas of my life, and I hate it.
The more I look at myself, the more disgusted I feel. I can’t stop remembering when I’ve been a bad friend or made bad decisions. I can’t seem to control myself enough to lose weight that I need to lose. I get so mad at my parents for scolding me for things because they don’t get that I sometimes feel like crying over these things anyway because I know I have done it to myself. I’m so critical of myself that any perceived negativity just reinforces my own harsh judgments.
The only problem is that I don’t know how to change that. How do I even begin to change the way I think about myself?
@1 day ago with 1 note
#meh #out of my control #personal #i also find this post to be incredibly self-absorbed
